Vote of Confidence

note: sporadic use of curse words in this post

A while ago now, only a few weeks after I moved to New York, a new friend took me and my roommate out to meet her friends. We were both a little nervous to be thrown so deeply into a new friend group so quickly. I especially held a lot of anxiety about meeting so many people, so many friends of “friends”. It seemed surreal to be building connections so fast. That night we met more people than I honestly remember, and up until last night that night was tainted in part by my regretful rejection of a potential romantic interest – a passing ship I suppose. But last night, my roommate and I went out with one of these friends of friends. Since that first night, we’ve gotten to know him more and trust him to be a really wonderful, generous, caring, kind person. And during our evening out, he mentioned that on the first night he met us, he wrote a blog post about us.

What?

Yes. A blog post about…us.

He never shared this blog with friends; that’s not why he has it, he says. A sentiment which I can understand. His blog exists for him, and whoever happens to read it. But we begged him to just send us the text, not the link – we wouldn’t dare share his personal blog or discuss it.

And so he did.

An excerpt:

One of them is blonde with blue eyes and the other is a brunette with dark eyes….both cute as can be, maybe we do really wish they all could be California girls…They are living together and both recently moved here from California. Now I have plenty of friends from California and I couldn’t imagine any of them moving here, they visit from time to time but most of them are far to soft to make the transition. New York for most of them is only in small doses. These two girls moved here from the other side of country. Damn that’s FUCKING impressive, NYC truly needs to embrace them, they need really to feel it to. I mean that’s why they came here, isn’t it? In a way without really even knowing the two, they have inspired me. I mean come on, you have to be two strong ass girls… to move to this state without knowing anyone. It’s possible they may have some roots or friends but hey I’m not about to pick up and move to Iowa because I met someone from there once. From meeting them very briefly tonight I don’t believe that they are going to have any trouble acclimating to the “New York way”. They are soft but I hope that they stay that way, sometimes you meet people and you just say “fuckkkkk these are some of the good ones” that’s what I thought when I met them.

I will probably harass the shit out of these two and learn every drip of knowledge about them because that’s just the way I am. I almost feel obligated to show them what New York really is, I love it so much and if they are only here for a limited time then they need to see only the best parts.

Maybe I’ll blog about these two another time so stay posted. I’ll let you know how they acclimate and if they still love it here after… they see the same breakdancing show on the subway every night going home…

That all I have to say on them for now.

I needed that. It’s been a hard week for funny reasons. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night this week that brought to light so many deeply seeded, unsettled emotions that I have about this move, this transition. School is ramping up to and sometimes, in the heat of it all, I think to myself, “Can I cut it? Am I going to make this work?”

His post was the sweetest most genuine expression of a blossoming friendship. He has acted upon and lived up to the promises he laid forth that first night. With him, we see the city in so many ways. We see it from the rooftops, from the whole in the wall Ramen places, from the other side of the river, from the seat of a car, through stories, through experiences, through laughter, and through building a friendship.

Without even knowing it, his blog post helped me in immeasurable ways and truly gave me the vote of confidence I need to keep going. I hope this story only goes to prove that your words have power. They have the power to build up, or to tear down. They have the power to give life, and take life away. And your words, your stories, your impressions, your inclinations, your thoughts, your dreams all have value and purpose. So share them and maybe you too will have the impact that he had on me.

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